From UK blogger and home educator, grit's day.
From UK blogger and home educator, grit's day.
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Created 12/26/09
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1
The house is trashed.
It's trashed the minute I open my eyes, to the minute I close them at night. Some days I don't open my eyes at all. Some days I photograph the floor, and call it installation art. Then I go berserk and threaten everyone with black dustbin liners. Whatever. Basically, the house is trashed. I guess if you send the kids to school you can photograph your sofa cushions, and everyone says, that's nice. I cannot find my sofa cushions. They are made into a house for the unicorns. Probably, in the time it has taken to type this sentence, they are off the sofa, down the bottom of the garden, and up a tree.
2
You have no free time.
Really, none. Nope, not enough to shop alone, or slide off to the gym, or scoff a chocolate bar in secret under the stairs. I have tried. One of the little critters will come and hunt you down and find you and snatch that chocolate treat from out of your mouth before demanding paint and string and how do you spell the word microscope because a unicorn up a tree with your favourite cushion wants to be a scientist and, by the way, did you know the sink is orange? If you send the kids to school I bet you can write novels, paint pictures, mend the fridge, go to work, and cut the hedge.
3
You get no privacy.
Of course you cannot have sex at all if you home educate. Not at all. Because the children are there all the time and don't think they're going to bed at 7pm. No. They are only starting to read TinTin and the Lake of Sharks and have no intention of turning out any lights before midnight, matey. By which time you and your desirable partner are both snoring away, utterly exhausted. If you send the kids to school you can have sex on the kitchen table with the ironmonger while both of you wear saucepans on your heads.
4
It is bloody hard work.
Of course it is impossible to be imaginative all the time. You cannot turn everything into a positive learning experience while desperate for a wee, a cup of tea and holding the door which has just fallen off the washing machine. But because you are a positive thinker, you think, give it 15 minutes and we'll learn how to fix the washing machine door, together. But then you discover you can't do that because of the all-day fight about a dolly's shoe. That's an invisible shoe by the way, because someone has lost it. This leads to demoralisation and feelings of hopelessness. Grit has found it relieves the pressure to wake up in the morning and say to herself I will be imaginative for only 20% of the day and if I make a positive learning experience out of anything, I am bloody doing well. If you send the kids to school you don't have to bother making a positive learning experience out of anything apart from arriving at the school gates on time.
5
Home education is a BIG responsibility.
And can lead to feelings of ohmygodwearenotdoinganything. Then you hunt out a dog-eared maths book and shout in panic We are going to learn Pythagorasus theorum! What's more, to save time, we are learning it in Latin! Everyone immediately scarpers. In this general area of responsibility I would also include feelings of guilt, fear, mild schizophrenia, emotional trauma and tears of confusion because your two year old does not want to learn Latin, he wants to eat chairs. If you send your child to school, it's someone else's responsibility and you get to complain about the homework.
6
You argue.
Not between you and the offspring about CGP books, obviously. Between the offspring themselves. These arguments are worse. Much worse. These arguments are not, unlike the CGP arguments, ended with the promise of a chocolate bar. If more than one child is home educated in your house you might have to listen to arguments all day long. Like yesterday. Shark is going to dial 999 now because Tiger has the dolly coat and she STOLE that coat and it is not hers and she can SHUT HER MOUTH and GET OUT OF MY ROOM and I NEVER WANT TO SEE HER PIG FACE EVER AGAIN. If you send the kids to schools I guess you have this at weekends and holidays, but can photograph your cushions in between.
7
You struggle daily with emotional control.
In response to the challenges in point 6, i would like to scream SHUT THE F*** UP! But I do not. I say Ignore that. Do not rise to that. You are stronger than to take notice of that. These are usually pointless so I come into the office to let go of those spitballs as big as planet Jupiter, swear my guts out, kick the waste bin, scream obscenities at Dig because he breathed in a funny way and then I return to the war zone refreshed and say Ignore that. Do not rise to that. You are stronger than to take notice of that. Thinking about it, emotional control has nothing to do with home educating. SHUT THE F*** UP! may be something that most people want to scream at lots of people, all the time, and especially at colleagues in the office. So I'm not counting number 7.
8
You have to listen to kids prattle.
You have to listen to hours of this. For the first year it is delightful and engaging and then slowly it grinds you down. Now if someone was ever mad and blind enough to invite you to dinner again, you could use only this as your dinner party conversation: 'this is the mummy triceratops and I have made her armour look mummy look and I made this out of wire and here is a magnet and this is from the time when there were no watties and the magnetic stones were all around the ground and then if I put the magnet near the armour look mummy look the mummy triceratops has a baby and the baby follows her armour and they are going to the shops and they might buy new armour ...' etc etc etc. If you send the kids to school your exposure to this type of blabber is curtailed. I bet your cushions look lovely though.
9
Non-home schoolers think you are a smug git.
The ballet mums certainly hate me and turn away from me. Grit's family let her get on with whatever insanity she dreams up since they gave in long ago or died before the true and horrible consequences. On Dig's side we have mostly non-functional relationships, except for Aunty Dee who probably thinks we're as mad as a bag of badgers but babysits once a year anyway. The people at the local shop who have read the papers may think we're child abusers and I'm surprised the man at number 32 hasn't reported us. If you send the kids to school and waft about the school gates dressed in Dior and clucking about ballet shoes and hairgrips, I bet everyone thinks you must be an ideal parent.
10
Your children will humiliate you.
When the child under your care, clearly not at school at 11.30 in the morning, starts to yell and bellow in the market square that life is so unfair because they cannot watch DVDs all afternoon, then, to the large assembled crowd, they announce 'I cannot read. I am home educated', you will probably want to die of embarrassment. If you send your kids to school, they won't say this. But if they humiliate you, you can roll your eyes, tut Kids today eh? and blame it on Jessie in class 3G. The reality is, if your kid is normal and you home educate, all your kid's failings you will blame on yourself. But if you choose school, you can blame all your kid's failings on the school. Which might suggest why school is A GREAT IDEA.
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