If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards.
If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards.
1
You're drivin' along, la-de-da, woo. All of a sudden there's a truck tire in the middle of the road. And you hit the brakes. EEEEEEEEE! Whoa, that was close. Ha-ha. Now let's see what happens when you're driving with the "other guy's" brake pads. You're drivin' along, you're drivin' along, the kids start shouting from the back seat, "I gotta go to the bathroom, Daddy!" "Not now, damn it!" Truck tire. EEEEEEEE! I CAN'T STOP! There's a cliff! AAAAAHH! And your family's screaming, "Oh my God, we're burning alive!" "No! I can't feel my legs!" Here comes the meat wagon. And the medic gets out and says, "Oh my God". New guy's around the corner puking his guts out.
2
The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.
3
I can't hear you, you're trailing off and did I catch a niner in there? Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?
4
Shut up, Richard.
5
Housekeeping. You want me to jerk you off?
6
Richard, who's your favorite little rascal? Alfalfa?... Or is it SPANKY?
7
Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it? No, I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.
8
Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter.
9
Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug.
10
It's called reading! Top to bottom, left to right... a group of words together is called a sentence. Take Tylenol for any headaches... Midol for any cramps.
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