If you want to be remembered always as "The One Who Got Away Alive, Thank Goodness," then try THESE cowardly tactics next time you want to say goodbye to your not-so-significant other.
Or, you could chew your arm off. Less painful in the end. From first to worst, here we go:
Or, you could chew your arm off. Less painful in the end. From first to worst, here we go:
If you want to be remembered always as "The One Who Got Away Alive, Thank Goodness," then try THESE cowardly tactics next time you want to say goodbye to you... more
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Created 08/04/12
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1
Have a friend do it for you.
After all, what are friends for? Getting punched, of course.
2
Have the new girlfriend do it for you.
Cowardice in female form. Hey: it might help.
3
Have your MOM do it for you.
Maybe she'll bring pie. Or guilt. Or guilt pie.
4
Do it via your FB status.
Everyone's on Facebook, right? She's BOUND to see it....
5
Fake Federal Witness Protection.
Make yourself a hero - all you have to lose is everyone else you know. And if this is how you treat your girlfriends, no one likes you anyhow.
6
Text her: "It's not you, it's me."
We live in the age of texting, right? Right? Wait. Right?
7
Text her: "It's you."
Isn't it? Wait. Isn't it?
8
Text her, period.
Hate to tell you: texting a breakup is sort of the ultimate in slimery. Unless you're in the sixth grade. Then it's just jackassery. You STILL should pass a note in math class, at least.
9
Refuse to answer all texts, calls, and doorbells ringing.
She'll get the idea eventually. If she doesn't? Then the authorities can take care of it.
10
Saying anything at all except: "You're amazing, and I'm an idiot who's not ready to commit."
Optional, and DEFINITELY good for bonus points, especially if you're on the fence, and may want to get back together later.... "... and who may need commitment to get my head examined for leaving you."
[source: Elizabeth Williams Bushey ]
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