By Kathleen Willcox
Ah, the vagina. It's a miraculous tube! Your wonderful ladyparts can do everything from hold a teeny-weeny tampon in place, to act as the host to a fun little party, to open wide their gates and allow another entire human being to be introduced to this wacky place!
When faced with stupefying events, people and objects, human beings are generally at a loss for words ... and propriety. Which explains the gaggle of totally heinous nicknames for your grand canal.
Below, a round-up of at-times cutesy, but always marvelous, pet names that are completely acceptable, nay! worthy of, your special passage from uterus to vulva, that is destined to be the source of much of your life's past, current and future drama.
Ah, the vagina. It's a miraculous tube! Your wonderful ladyparts can do everything from hold a teeny-weeny tampon in place, to act as the host to a fun little party, to open wide their gates and allow another entire human being to be introduced to this wacky place!
When faced with stupefying events, people and objects, human beings are generally at a loss for words ... and propriety. Which explains the gaggle of totally heinous nicknames for your grand canal.
Below, a round-up of at-times cutesy, but always marvelous, pet names that are completely acceptable, nay! worthy of, your special passage from uterus to vulva, that is destined to be the source of much of your life's past, current and future drama.
By Kathleen Willcox Ah, the vagina. It's a miraculous tube! Your wonderful ladyparts can do everything from hold a teeny-weeny tampon in place, to act as ... more
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Created 11/17/09
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1
Just Desserts
The name says it all.
2
Rubyfruit Jungle
Not only is RJ a seminal classic in the annals of lesbian lit (it's the title of Rita Mae Brown's bildungsroman), it's a fun and empowering phrase that engages all five senses and really gets me in the mood to rumble. Soooooo much better than "vajajay."
3
Tang
Cheeky and brazen, tang is definitely the sobriquet I select when the Lady and I are feeling as spicy as neua pad prik--which happens to sound like a fab tag for Lady's BFF the bone, but is in fact a ridiculously hot Thai dish that only the strongest, most agile and, of course, daring can handle. Much like Tang!
4
Center Ring at the Three Ring Circus
Speaking of odd positions .... It truly is the main event, the star, the celebrated attraction for which ticketgoers sometimes pay a pretty penny (in one form or another) to get front seats at. Who doesn't love when the circus comes to town!
5
Love Tunnel
Too cheesy for words, but I hope for everyone's sake (especially yours!), at least occasionally true. Oh, look at me getting all family values on everyone while discussing vaginae. What a strange position for me.
6
Boner Graveyard
I choose to ignore the rather macabre implications this moniker leaks like a hatchet wound. Instead, I choose to think of it as a happy graveyard full of frolicking ghosts who were happy to leave their current state and head to Nirvana.
7
Bearded Clam
Much like Beef Curtains, I feel that I should be offended by this immature appellation for my precious ladyparts, but every time I try to work up some righteous indignation I find myself too busy have giggling fits. How can something that makes me feel so good be wrong?
8
Pink Slip
This is sexiness and femininity with a dose of razzle dazzle power that I find irresistible. Slipping into a pink slip has become my secret little double entendre that I enjoy smirking over to myself on occasion; it's also a lovely way to take the bite out of the other pink slip too many of us have been served in the last year or so.
9
Hot Pocket
Not only do I want to sing it repeatedly (Hot Pock-et! Hooooot Po-CKET!) to the tune of the notorious jingle, it generally makes me feel sassy and strangely jazzed. This in spite of the fact that I detest the dreadful Nestle concoctions involving microwavable pastry, cheese product and mystery meat - just dreadful. Hoooot Pock-ET!
10
Beef Curtains
At first glance, this term may seem offensive -- even misogynistic. But seriously, beef curtains? Not only is it wildly hilarious in an irresistible, fourth-grade snarf your soda kind of way, it's actually descriptively quite apropos: they are fleshy, tough but tender (the beef!) and they do flank a rather dramatic stage (the curtains!) Perhaps Filet Mignon Curtains would lend the phrase an increased aura of dignity?
[source: https://www.heartlessdoll.com/2009/11/top_10_awesome_pet_names_for_your_ladyparts.php ]
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